and today I breathe a calming exhale
taming the nerves that had peaked to tell me that after one year that I indeed, unlovable
And I know I shouldn't let that story ruin it for me.
But when the dress slipped over my head,
my whole body filled the room and my angst about how you left me, left me
And if time really is so fucked up that it would let me feel those very same feelings of today last year,
then condemn me now for whatever I have coming
For letting boys fall for me, knowing what I've done
The high of the kill make me forget your face and name, details like where you're from, what brings you here, what makes you excited
I dont like you, nor love you, but you make me feel like a queen.
And in this moment I'd like to thank the whiskey that gave me the words that gave me, you
A sacrificed drink and ritual
to the God who forgot to love me
Today the sigh of relief I breathe is the numb feeling of getting away with dirty crime
or at least what I'd imagine in a dank murderer's house.
I want the room to be dark enough to dance like no one is watching
and drink enough to sing like no one is listening
Sister judgment, please lets keep this sibling rivalry
lets ignore eachother four more years
I don't know your children, my new niece.
But this thing I've got going, sister, in the light does not look right,
not yet
