It was Tom Gabel

from against me!

who told me today that it is okay to feel off

these feelings of being inside and out of control

these crusty glue eyelashes from tears i don't know why

love is leaving for a long time and I feel it in my energy centers

fucking hippy chakras

I burn knowing that I have to go to work now

it was fun being a kid

playing outside until mom calls me in

kissing as a dare, and chasing flashlights

it was fun being in love

and I can't wait to see you again 

but i have to remember what I wanted to do before you were in the picture

no, you are more than IN the picture

you are the picture

I can't do these things with you here

I can't do anything else with you here

and Im afraid that you wont write

because sometimes you forget to eat

and drink water

so why would you write me letters

listening today: The Velvet Underground

becoming

everyday

I am becoming more abroad

strong and beautiful because she isn't worried about herself

but the world.

everyday

I am sittting, climbing more into that huge tree

a tree of wisdom, a strong tree

I am an adult that climbs this tree now

and that changes everything

and I'm too far up to turn start climbing down

I would probably fall

resting on this branch its stable and comfortable.

It's warm and loving, it whispers.

and I don't know if I want to stay in this dark fascinating tree

no, I do.

I want to see what the view has to offer at the top

I will die at the top, with this tree as my witness.

I look down through the bugs and branches, and I see home

no, where i was that wasn't home.

I see the past, and I see what I know.

I trust the aire will tell me what to do.