Lunatics.

This is the culprit.

This is what makes me stir at night

When it's full, so is my mind, with anxiety dreams 

and emotional emotions.

It always manages to surprise me too.

I need to plan my life around this moon.

When it's full I'll run away

to realize my revelation.

love bums me out.

I'm not sleeping right now, because these worthless thoughts are keeping me up.  For once my apartment is quiet, and now my head is the loud thing keeping me awake.  

I am excited to be a badass  barista.  I can't wait to be a perfectionist and make beautiful coffee and make people happy.  Is that weird?  

Read this book:

... it has nothing to do with will smith, I promise.

but it will change your life.

Why the fuck do I even have a blog? I have nothing good to say somedays.  I keep holding myself back from deleting it for some reason, so maybe it will be of purpose someday.

I can't stop listening today: "Grey Britain" by Gallows

To be worldly.

drinking a green matcha tea,

with spices and agave

watching my beautiful gentleman sleep, he never wakes before 9 or 10 if he has any say.

thinking about what I would rather be doing.
I can't really think about much.

When I was a young girl,  I always dreamed of having an all white bed, soft and clean, and it permanently smelled like laundry detergent.

because that is my favorite smell in the whole wide world.

and now I do I have my bed.

My life is better than my dream.

Do you have to have a picture with the eiffel tower to be a worldly lady?

nope.

birthdays are weird days.

I never know what to expect, mostly I don't expect anything.  

maybe I'm a little bitter about holidays

I just don't like productions.

and most all holidays are fake, production.

During christmas, everyone is so fucking stressed and forced to be traveling, or with family they can't stand, or singing songs that make you sick, or buying presents for everyone and their sister while you can't even pay rent.  Two days after christmas are the most empty days of the year. "Merry Christmas" is like saying "I'm going to go hide, and drink until I can't feel just as soon as grandma opens her cruise to alaska."

Easter, Valentine's day, Fourth of July, Cinco de Mayo, Halloween.

They are all reasons to get drunk, and be gluttonous and regret it.

I want birthdays to be different.  

I want them to be a chance to take a walk naked outside.

Amongst every other naked animal

and thats everyone except for humans.

To admire your new, 19 year old body

outside in the aire.

Why not start out the new year in your life, grounded and ready to turn 20?

And I've probably done it all wrong until now.

I've just been getting drunk for the past 18 years like everyone else.

My Birthdays will be different.

I don't think I'm bitter, just honest.

I also like funny jokes.

and rockin' music.

and whales

and kisses

...So I don't really know anything about tattoos, and I don't consider myself well-versed or a viable critic.  I just really like googling : "Bad tattoos" and having a good laugh.

My favorites are the awful, awful, awful portraits that come up. (That aren't meant to be awful)

I wont put any up here, because I want you to find the magic yourself.

  But there are also some really amazing ones that come up, 

I just like looking at tattoos.

dorky? yes. always.

The Most amazing Tattoo of today:

and..

 and...

OKAY, and a bad one, just for fun:

fuck yeah.

I will be listening to today: "Beggars" by Thrice