attempt 9.5

I've started like five blog entries about how much I miss your arms.
They're never publiched because they sound forced from desperation which they are.
About how I miss his breath and the way his chest vibrates when he speaks to me - the bass of a lover.
A bass that gets me going, makes me want more.
I hear your bass wherever I go, and I seek it out in this state.  I'm going to call this despondent fall loneliness   A brisk time-changing aire that makes your body a breathless, eye-fluttering memory.  And a dream.  Your in my dreams every night, whoever you are.  I never want to wake up, but I keep waking up early, to a dark cold state that's not yours.

Today is the kind of fall, first day of winter day that makes your heart hurt.  It always hurts to go into a new season without someone to lay in bed with

My heart yearns for a man to hold it, and ease this changing of the seasons.  

If you hold me tight enough, I might not notice how cold it's gotten outside.