We're trying to do all the things that make a normal day important,
shower, clothes, makeup - going through the motions
folding, cooking, moving - meaningful and helpful maybes
And I'm trying to get excited for the future,
but it's not working, I can't get it up - it's not your fault
This used to be about me vomiting all of my angst onto the internet
but that's neither here, nor there, and the truth is I just want to run and run for days and days
not to get away, but just to run
and to feel my body strong and purposeful
my skin is asking me where the sun has gone
like children for their drunk dad
and I only make excuses, he'll be back in our lives soon
I identify with two words, my name
as well as a short lifetime of things of my past that defined that person
there are comfortable grooves in the road from here to the places I used to go
so it's easy to go there, but not necessarily where a newcomer in an old place wants to frequent
This place is my rebound, and I am once again a kitten aiming for the pounce
Once again a quiet little girl dreamer plotting,
The kind of little girl that you cannot look in the eye
Because her soul is much older than her tiny body
one with fiery blue eyes, you can see the gears turning
She plots for her next life and does not waste energy on the petty
She knows that someday soon her life will be sweeping. romantic once again
But for now she's finger painting in kindergarten, and that's okay
I'll dance when I want to, cook drunk when I want to
I'll be a young cat lady
